“Thanks what?!” – was my first reaction when our American neighbour, Monica Osten, invited us over for a Thanksgiving potluck dinner at her place.
As a new bride in the USA, I was adapting pretty smoothly I had presumed. That is, until my neighbour bowled me a googly with this Turkey Day invitation. Yes, there’s google. Yes, there’s the county public library. But they just give you the cold facts. Right? The history, the traditions, the customs – all good to know – but, what about the spirit? The essence of any festival, my mother had taught, lies in the spirit. And that, mere facts can never inculcate.
Divided in Tradition, but United in Spirit:
Our rural ancestors, with little blest,
Patient of labour when the end was rest,
Indulged the day that housed their annual grain,
With feasts, and off’rings, and a thankful strain.
~Alexander Pope
As we were greeted by warm smiles (and warm hearts) at our neighbour’s place, we realized really it’s nothing different than what we celebrate back home. Celebrating the harvest of the year, being thankful for the bounty that would feed us and ours all the year round. Really, isn’t this what we celebrate at Sankranti, Bihu, Onam, Pongal or Lohri? Be it reaping wheat in the northern parts of the country, rice in the eastern parts, corn in some other parts – the essence is to be thankful for what we have been blessed with. Feasting, with family and friends, with foods that are drawn from crops that come to maturity around the time of the festival, well lit-up and decorated homes; and of course the merriment – nothing seemed alien any more. That’s what even we celebrate back home, year after year, with zest and fervour.
Thanking to have near and dear ones in the journey of life:
Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received.
Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling.
Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.
~Henry Van Dyke
Being in a faraway land away from family, the first thing I appreciated at the gathering was the smiling faces of Monica’s family assembled around the kitchen counter. Good-natured teasing, banter, sharing jokes filled the room with warmth and camaraderie. Coming from an Indian joint family, the closest family gatherings at my place had about forty people for my mother to cater to. Sometimes, the hard work exhausted her. But she always appreciated family participation at the end of the day. And now I understood why. It is such a blessing to have dear ones to share the journey of life with. It is such a boon to be surrounded by empathetic people when you need support. The very thought humbled me.
It’s not the food, nor the wine, it’s the love:
“Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant,
every day more civilized.”
~ Andre Simon
Food has always been an essential part of any celebration. No exception. But it’s not the mere eating that counts. It’s the experience of dining together. Or perhaps, in gatherings like Monica’s, even the preparation part matters, as each member brought along his/her speciality dish – it didn’t matter who carved the turkey, who put together the cranberry relish, or who tossed the salad – as long as you enjoyed it. ‘You should try aunt Amanda’s pumpkin pie, it’s the best,” Monica’s daughter quipped. “And we store the cranberry sauce cousin Jacy brings to savour with any grilled meat for weeks after Thanksgiving”, Monica joined in. Like my brother and I waited for nani’s paayesh, pishi’s gokul pithe, ma’s paatishapta, grandmom’s naaru.
Wine & Dine makes the experience complete:
“Wine has been a part of civilized life for some seven thousand years.
It is the only beverage that feeds the body, soul and spirit of man
and at the same time stimulates the mind.”
~Robert Mondavi
A few candles, embroidered napkins, beautiful plates, a sensational wine and all of a sudden, a simple roasted turkey and mashed potatoes are transformed to something not so mundane. Wine is an integral part of Thanksgiving meal. It makes the conversation flow, the flavours of the food flourish, the gathering linger longer at the table. And nothing sounds sweeter than the voices in unison saying “Cheers”!
Wine as hostess/host gift:
“Fill every beaker up, my men, pour forth the cheering wine:
there’s life and strength in every drop, thanksgiving to the vine!”
~Albert Gorton Greene
No amount of wine would perhaps be too much at a Thanksgiving dinner table. With the spread having different flavours and spices, it’s best to have different types of wines to serve your guests. We all know, there’s not a complete list of perfect wine and food pairing. Ultimately it’s your choice, your palate and to some extent your budget. I’m sure your host or hostess would be glad to have another bottle to open up. But don’t expect it to be served right away. They may also prefer to keep it and open later when they sit back, relax and reminisce about the Thanksgiving gathering.
Festivals come and go. Even loved ones leave for heavenly abode. Memories linger and remain. Would I ever forget the bunch of yellow roses my mother’s uncle always brought along that immediately brightened up a mundane table décor, even though he’s no more with us? Would you ever forget how your mom sneaked and put away a little bit of your favourite sweetmeat so that you could relish it later? This is what we should be thankful for. This is where the essence of Thanksgiving lies. Not in the Turkey. Not in the wine and food pairing. Not in the candles lit, the wreaths put up. But in the love, the warmth, the memories. And these are the actual leftovers. The leftovers that really matter.
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the
highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
~John Fitzgerald Kenne
Happy Thanksgiving. Cheers!
[Images: Google Search]